Declaration
by fightindog
Summary: How can a declaration be seen so differently by two people. Clark opens up to Lois and her response shocks him . . .
1. Lois

LOIS POV

"I love you, Lois Lane". The look on his face was so open and loving that Lois for a second believed she could see the manifestation of that love on his face. "I have loved you for such a long time and didn't want to go another minute without telling you," he continued as he sat there holding her hands with a big smile on his face.

Slowly the smile on his face dimmed a little when there was no response from Lois. In all his imagining he hadn't thought that she would say nothing, Lois was never quiet, and the look on her face could almost be called distress.

"Clark, I don't know what to say,"

"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted you to know. I am not expecting anything I just wanted to be honest with you and my feelings towards you."

She sat there looking at her best friend and wondered _'why would he do this, why does he want to ruin our friendship, we are friends, but Clark and I romantically, that will never happen. I want Superman, Clark knows that, why is he saying this, Hell, Clark why are you ruining our friendship, I need to be honest with him and its going to break his heart, Clark why are you doing this?'_

Taking a deep breath Lois replied "Clark, I love you but as a friend nothing more," and watched as his face started to close from her. Holding his hands she leant forward to give emphasis to her words and in a gentle voice said "Clark, we are the best of friends but I think I love Superman and want to see if I can have a chance with him. He makes me feel something I have never felt before and I want to know if it can go somewhere."

"Superman? You don't even know Superman how can you want him?"

"Clark, my feelings for Superman, or you, are what they are, I can't change them."

She watched as he stood up and went to look out the window. For the first time since she met him she saw his shoulders slump and his presence didn't seem so big. He put his hands into his pockets and without saying anything gently head butted the window a couple of times. He turned to face her and from across the room she noticed his eyes had the sheen of tears and her heart ached. "Lois, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, pretend I never said anything."

"Clark . . . "

"God how embarrassing, I am so sorry," he said before he quickly walked to the door and let himself out of her apartment. By the time Lois got to the door of her apartment, Clark had disappeared from the hallway. Looking up and down the hallway Lois couldn't help but think _'Why does he do that, just run off like that. Clark why did you have to go and ruin our friendship, whatever gave you the idea that I loved you like that? Good one girl you have really hurt your best friend and you threw in another man in the mix as well, you are a piece of work. Clark will be ok, he will roll with it and tomorrow it will be like this never happened. I don't know about that I have never seen him so small. No Clark will be there if nothing else he is dependable.'_

Walking to her balcony she opened the door and stepped out into the cool night air. Looking up into the night sky she said, "Superman, I need to talk to you, no hurry just when you can."

Walking back towards her apartment she was stopped in her tracks as the familiar deep voice said "Good Evening Miss Lane." Spinning on her heels she smiled at him and walked towards him.

"Hello you beautiful man, where have you been?" she flirted as she walked up to the balcony's edge. He floated back away from the balcony keeping his face in the shadows of the night. "Aren't you going to come inside?" she asked a bit perplexed at his unusual behavior.

"No, not tonight. You said you wanted to talk to me?" he enquired a little abruptly.

"Yes, I did but that can wait, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong Miss Lane."

"Superman I know you so well and I know when something is wrong. Please share it with me, I am a good listener," she said as she smiled at him. _'What is wrong with him, he is never like this with me, is he sick, what's going on.'_

"Miss Lane, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Superman, can't you come over here, so we can talk. I don't want to ask you with you 10 feet away."

Quietly he floated closer and landed on the other side of the balcony. She smiled and walked towards him but stopped when he seemed unapproachable. He had on his Superman mask, his arms were folded in front of him and he was looking directly at her with his deep dark blue eyes. She had never seen him look like this when they were alone and she was concerned _'what is wrong with him, what is going on, he seems so different,'_ she wondered before saying "Superman would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?"

He seemed to uncoil a little before snapping back into his persona and replied with an answer that she literally was never expecting "why?"

"Why? You do eat don't you?" she smiled but continued when the only change on his face was a small lift of his lips to even acknowledge her joke, "because I would like to get to know you better over dinner."

He looked at her for a long time, he was very still and just when she thought he was never going to answer he replied, "Why did Clark Kent leave here crying?"

She was stunned.


	2. Clark

CLARK'S POV

Clark made sure he had Lois's undivided attention. He had waited so long to tell her this and he knew that she felt the same way. He knew because of the way she smiled at him, how when she was lonely he was the one she came to see, how she protected him against anyone she thought took advantage of him but mainly because he just knew. He took her hands in his, looked in her eyes and said, "I love you, Lois Lane. I have loved you for such a long time and didn't want to go another minute without telling you,"

He watched her as she didn't say anything his mind started to race _'why is she just sitting there, say something Lois, I love you, I know you love me, she is never quiet, say something please, well Clark you always knew she was unpredictable, yeah right, but this isn't at all what I thought it would be like. Keep smiling.'_

"Clark, I don't know what to say,"

"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted you to know. I am not expecting anything I just wanted to be honest with you and my feelings towards you," his mind starting to prepare arguments in his favor to convince her of his love for her.

He sat there looking at her and wondered _'come on Lois, say it you know you want to say it. Don't be afraid, I have seen you look at me like that so many times; I knew she would be scared but she has no reason to be scared. I don't expect undying love but a chance I just want a chance Lois.'_

Clark watched her take a deep breath and made sure he kept his mind on what she was saying instead of what that deep breath did to her chest. "Clark, I love you"

'_YES' _he thought before he heard the rest.

"But as a friend nothing more,"

"_No, No, No, no your wrong, don't deny it Lois, please give me a chance. Don't let her see how much it upsets you Clark, suck it up.'_

Feeling her hands holding his he watched as she leant forward, wondering if she was going to kiss him. For a moment he had to strain to hear what she was saying quietly but he heard it, he heard everything, "Clark, we are the best of friends but I think I love Superman and want to see if I can have a chance with him. He makes me feel something I have never felt before and I want to know if it can go somewhere."

'_Superman, how can she love Superman, I am Superman, she fawns over him and now she denies me, I am Superman. We haven't had a really in-depth conversation about anything, I am Superman.' _His mind raced before he replied"Superman? You don't even know Superman how can you want him?"

"Clark, my feelings for Superman, or you, are what they are, I can't change them."

Her words cut him so deep. He couldn't sit there holding her hands anymore. He stood up and went to look out the window, he was devastated, _'how could I have got that so wrong?'_ he wondered as he felt tears pooling in his eyes, _'God she can't see me cry, No! No! No! What have I done, she is going to hate me, I have to get out of here, I can't let her see me cry, Lois my Lois, oh God I love her so much and she sees me only as a friend. Why did I listen to Chloe, Why?'_

Turning to face her he couldn't look her in the eyes as he said "Lois, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, pretend I never said anything."

"Clark . . ."

Feeling the embarrassment coming up his neck he said "God how embarrassing," and before he had a chance to consider what to do next he said, "I am so sorry," and walked out the door.

Once the door closed behind him he just ran off as fast as he could. The pain was so intense _'What a fool, what a complete fool you are Clark, why should Lois ever think of you as anything but a friend, what were you thinking, Can I just be her friend, if friend is all I have then I will have to just be her friend. Friend what a stupid word, who wants to just be a friend, I love her, can I look at her each day and know I have told her. I want to just die, why did I listen.'_

Tears were racing down his face as he took off into the air to feel the joy of flying and to ensure he had some privacy in his pain. He heard her say, "Superman, I need to talk to you, no hurry just when you can," and for an instant he debated with himself whether he should go or not. He had opened himself up to her and she had destroyed him with one of the most awful words in the relationship dictionary - 'friends'. Hating himself for it, he changed into the suit and flew back to her apartment. She was walking away from him and all he could think about was how beautiful she was and how she seemed to shine for him. "Good Evening Miss Lane."

Her smile seemed to cut him. His feelings, which had been rejected, were now being attacked by her smile, _'why does she never smile like that at me, I am Clark and you never smile at me like that.'_

"Hello you beautiful man, where have you been?" The words were even more painful to hear. _'I wear this suit and I am beautiful, what am I the rest of the time,'_ he wondered as he floated back away from her so she couldn't see his tears.

"Aren't you going to come inside?"

"No, not tonight." _'You just rejected me outright why would I want to come spend time with you Lois, lets get this over,'_ You said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes, I did but that can wait, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong Miss Lane." _'Apart from the fact that you don't love me and right now I can't be in the same room with you because I might break down.'_

"Superman I know you so well and I know when something is wrong. Please share it with me, I am a good listener,"

'_You are a good listener Lois, but I am not sharing this with you as you caused this and I right now can't face you, If you knew me so well you would know that when you hurt Clark you hurt me, what a crappy web of lies I am tied in, I should never have come back tonight.' _"Miss Lane, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Superman, can't you come over here, so we can talk. I don't want to ask you with you 10 feet away."

Deciding to take a risk he floated over and landed on the balcony. _'No, Lois, stop there, please don't come closer, I don't want you closer.' _he thought before he was relieved to see her stop. He couldn't look her in the face, as he didn't want to lose himself into those beautiful hazel eyes right now.

"Superman would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?"

Shock hit him _'How can you ask me that? No, Yes, I don't know what I want, why are you asking me this,_' he thought before he said "Why?"

"Why? You do eat don't you?"

Without conscious thought he felt a laugh starting to bubble up but he crushed it quickly.

"Because I would like to get to know you better over dinner."

'_You want to get to know me better, Lois you know me better than anyone, you know everything about me as Clark Kent, we have shared our lives, you want to get to know me better!!! You broke my heart and now you want to get to know me better, I really can't believe this is happening, Why did you says you don't love me, I need to know,' _he thought before he said "Why did Clark Kent leave here crying?"

She looked stunned.


End file.
